causing more problems and difficulties instead of solving them; not achieving what you wanted to achieve but having an opposite effect 事与愿违的；适得其反的；弄巧成拙的 Paying children too much attention when they misbehave can be self-defeating. 孩子有不良行为时，过分关注可能适得其反。 🔊🔊 It becomes self-defeating to go on wrangling about tactics. 继续就战术进行争吵变得自欺欺人。